March 2010
2 posts
Excerpt #1
I hate linoleum.
Things that are that sterile and monotonous make me uncomfortable. I would pick linoleum over knowing you were going to die, though.
“I’m going to die.
That was it. Completely unglamorous. That’s not even the worst part. How, you ask?
A fucking moped.
The one time I would ever be lame enough to ride a goddamned moped, and I swerve and crack my skull.
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CMOR Butts
I really abhor pet names. Truly. There’s nothing worse than sitting on an horrifyingly upholstered sofa while having to listen to “Oh, don’t worry about it sweetcheeks, I’ll get you another beer” followed by an annoying squeal and a “Oh my god, babycakes, you are the sweetest!” If I didn’t want to consume that fifth of Captain Morgan’s in my...
